Primi Piatti, Chrysler--Secondi Piatti, GM Europe
Fiat eyes new company with GM Europe, Chrysler By NICOLE WINFIELD and TOM KRISHER The Associated Press Sunday, May 3, 2009 11:52 PM ROME -- Fiat Group SpA confirmed Sunday that it is in talks to buy most of General Motors Corp.'s European operations, taking another step toward creating a global automotive powerhouse. Fiat also said it is evaluating the possible spinoff of its auto business to form the core of a new company. Fiat Group Automobiles includes the Fiat, Alfa Romeo and Ferrari brands. In addition, Fiat is in the process of acquiring U.S. automaker Chrysler LLC without putting up any cash.
Those crazy Italians, eh? Put on the funny paper-hat, have another chianti and knock off Chrysler, the automaker everyone loves to give away for nothing. Just a little spaghetti carbonara, baby. Come close, I whisper in your ear. You gonna love it. Now sweetheart, before the world wises up, before they remember that FIAT is the acronym for Fix It Again Tony, we gonna pull off the secundi piatti. GM, baby. Not the whole thing, the whole thing stinks too much, but Europe--think about it. We get GM Europe and finally, finally we dump them Alfa Romeos for Cadillacs. Cadillacs, sweetness. Let me nibble your ear. We own GM Europe, we got our slippered foot in the door and somebody actually makes GM work, they got us to deal with. What you want for dessert, baby? A little cannoli, maybe a taste of Jaguar? I hear Ford is looking to dump the brand. Maybe we take it for a spin, leave the old Ferrari in the garage.